Busy day

Woke up. Tinkled on a tree. Ate. Sniffed around. Napped. Chewed a few more Jenga pieces. Napped. Moved to the couch. Napped. Moved to the bed. Napped. Looked out the window. Mommy came home. Pee'd some more. Walked. Ate dinner. Napped. Played with my squeaky toy. Pee'd. Back to sleep. Busy day.

The Feds are After Me

So you know that tag on your mattress that says something like "Do not Remove or the federal government will totally come and get you and send you to jail without any dinner"!!?? Yeah, I removed it. Opps. My bad. Guilty.

Then, realizing what I did, I hid the evidence... you guessed it... I ate it... But my stomach didn't care for that too much (mommy was thrilled), so I had to throw it in the garbage, which means it's out there, with my paw prints all over it.

I'm so hoping the mattress tag people lack efficiency...I might have a dog fight in this match! If not, I have a good hiding space under the bed! They won't take me alive!

Hunger Strike

I’m holding a hunger strike. No, it’s not for any noble cause – and no, it doesn’t include treats, or snacks, or Drew's birthday cake (see Saturday post) or anything I find on my walks… It’s for people food. Mommy keeps giving me just dog food, and frankly, dog food is for the dogs. I want something delicious mixed in… like some meat or cheese to make it yummier. You know how boring it is to eat the same thing day after day!?

I’m pretty sure I got her right where I want her. I’ve held off for a couple meals, and she’s gonna crack soon and cave – I can tell. She may look tough, but she’s a softie when it comes to her BFF (best fury friend). And when she does cave, I am going to enjoy quite the feast….

Timeout...Again!

Mommy baked a cake. And it smelled really, really good. I could have sworn she said “I’m baking this for you.” She put it on top of the stove to cool off and then frost and decorate the next day. I’m not really a huge frosting lover (except for that buttercream frosting – now that’s a good lick) so I figured I’d save her the hassle. I somehow, we’re both still trying to figure out how, got it off the stove top and down to my level (all without breaking the glass pan, I might add – should have received props for that, but Noooo!) and ate it up.

It was delicious.

Well, mommy came home and she was not at all pleased to see that I had eaten her cake. In fact, she was pretty ticked. She put me in another timeout while she cleaned everything up. Have I mentioned how much I HATE getting a timeout!?

The whole time she was complaining about how I ate Drew’s birthday cake for the party, and now what was she going to do!? Oh yeah, come to think of it, she did say “I’m baking a birthday cake for Drew.” I guess it wasn’t I’m baking a cake for you. Opps. Well, cheers to you, Drew! Maybe I’ll get my ears cleaned in your honor!

The JENGA Chew Toy

Maybe they should put on the JENGA box that it’s a game to play and not a new chew toy. Good game. Delicious snack. I say why can’t it be both?!

Dirty Bath Water

Today I was duped. Tricked. Swindled. Deceived.

Mommy and I went for our normal walk. We like taking long walks on Sunday mornings because it’s pretty quiet and peaceful out. Mommy hit the gym (I wasn’t gonna say anything to her, but I was starting to tell it had been a while!).

When she came back and got all cleaned up, she said, “Let’s get you a bath!” and got the leash ready. I was all excited. Jumping up and down – a happy dog! We were going out. I did not hear “bath.” In my excitement, what I heard was “let’s go back to dog park, like yesterday, so you can play with the other dogs and chase squirrels for awhile and get lots of treats.”

About halfway into our trip, I noticed Mommy turned to the right, when the dog park was the road to the left. I was hoping we were going to visit my pal Kopek, but nope – there was only one place the car was headed – the Bath House. I hate the Bath House. As soon as I realized it, I started giving her the puppy eyes – pleading not to make me get a bath. I hate the water, and the blow dryer makes a horrible noise and the entire experience is just awful.

But she didn’t fall for the puppy eyes. She was tough as nails – steadfast in her driving to the Bath House. I fought going in. I vowed that they weren’t going to take me alive!!! She dragged me. Then the guy had to drag me back there.

The bath was horrible. The dryer was just as bad as I remember.

I’m clean now and smelling pretty good. Part of me wants to go roll in some mud, just to spite Mommy and the Bath House, but then I know I’ll be right back at the Bath House… so I think I’ll avoid the muddle puddles for a bit!

All Bones About It!

Buried my bone under the couch. Then re-buried it on the bed...hope Mommy doesn't find it. I love her, but just like Joey on Friends doesn't share food, I don't share my bones! They make for good chomping!

That’s A Wrap!

Mommy and I went for our usual evening walk – she hates walking by the grocery store because it’s bordered by bushes, and people always leave food in the bushes. But, I dragged her in that direction. My nose was onto something. I was sniffing in the tenth bush – you have to take them one at a time as it’s like a treasure hunt where attention to detail is important – when I found it. Someone had left an entire chicken wrap out for me to eat. It was not there this morning when we walked by! I enjoyed a chomp and then brought it out of the bush to show mommy my conquest. I thought she’d be really proud of me – I mean, WHAT A FIND! But she promptly grabbed it from me. I only got in two good bites before that’s a wrap was called on my dinner!